when all fades out

as i speak

2009-12-13T21:16:00.001+08:00

okay im moving over to lj. simply because the blogskin's screwed and i cant be bothered to find a new one. i think its fate. cos i created my lj like 1 day before the skin screwed up. so hello lj, goodbye blogger. 有缘再相聚

http://the-entrapment.livejournal.com

you act blind

2009-12-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

我只想从心开始
cos it hurts

till we see the sunlight

2009-12-08T17:39:00.004+08:00

last week was super fun :D had nypsco camp and mediacorp charity performance w0rhx.

i dont really wanna stop going to nyps every year to plan camps for them cos nyps totally rocks no matter what happens :D truthfully, it was great getting together with nypsco people again, crapping around and playing daidi, shouting at the kids and watching juniors develop and grow as they proceed to being facils. haha damn funny during the second night cos we were tying water bombs until the school no more water supply, so all of us couldnt bathe in the middle of the night. did night sentry with luke, wei sze and xin yuan, jiaxun came up once in a while. damn funny lah, wei sze damn tired then sleep on table then halfway wake up say he dreamt of us playing daidi. LOL and the courtyard is super nice to sleep okay. its like damn cooling in the night when you lie down. so we slept in the courtyard for like half an hour plus plus and woke up. heh.

kids are still the same lah, primary school boys are like wth hard to control while the girls are just plain noisy, but oh well we were once like that and its fun being like that. nypsco rocks okay! next year vice chairman -.- gosh i dunno what you people are thinking of man, i dont care lah. my slaves will do the work with xin yuan the chair :D then jiaxun can senior senior and do the 'ORDER' thing :D :D

then the mediacorp performance 真情无障爱. quite an experience :D the handicapped girl weiqi is from taiwan de. poor thing, her arms and legs are like half only..and during rehearsal she fell but still continued dancing till the end, then her hand was like bleeding lah. think our performance wasnt that great cos front part was messed up by the music, but its okay. limin's 'boyfriend' damn epic lah, keep coming into our holding room and being a se peh peh. then when i tell him 'eh go see your limin lah', he was '其实我跟limin要break liao, 我在找新的' LOL then i was like go away man. hahaha. funny man, hope i see him next year in the other mediacorp performance.

im determined not to procrastinate. i will be 10 times better than what i am now.
(okay nypsco exco just started a fei mass convo again. walao. you people really damn siao lah)

did you see heaven? cos i did, and it was magnificant. it told me that it was okay to be indifferent.

台湾，这一站

2009-11-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

whee this blog stoned for a long time i suppose. i just came back from my 16 days taiwan immersion yesterday! and i love taiwan to the max okay! :D

fu dan high school was SO SO nice to us, everyone was super 热情! and im so serious, because they will bring you around the school and explain to you patiently about everything, and unlike when we nanyang people welcomed them, they are so eager to meet us! when i first went there i felt so guilty about not taking good care of my taiwan buddy when she came over to singapore lah.. D: thank you so much class 275 for taking care of us and giving us such an enjoyable time in fu dan! WE MUST KEEP IN CONTACT (: i will never forget that super lively and fun class. especially my buddy meng xuan! oh by the way, their school is cool cos they are so eco friendly. they ban using disposable chopsticks for their lunch boxes and their lunch boxes have to be pack in a way that all the litter is like separated into different catagories. and they have NAP TIME after lunch! also, their lessons are 45 mins per lesson and they have a 5 min break in between EVERY lesson. damn cool lah D: unlike singapore's stressful chiong studying schedule. fu dan is the love

haha okies then for the rest of the days it was still cool, although we had to leave fu dan after 4 days with them D: taiwan's night markets are super cool and the prices are freaking cheap. the food there is awesome and im not kidding! i ate the chou dou fu, zhu xie gao (pig's blood kuey -.-) and ji xin (chicken's heart), all damn nice! sounds disgusting but i tried it and it tasted great (: in taiwan you can buy like things at super cheap prices like socks at $1 each and clothes like shirts at $5 each, pants at $7 each that type. so sad that singapore doesnt have these type of things D:

although the creative writing classes were a little dry in the beginning, i really liked zhang man juan's lesson. she's such an awesome author and person. through everything she told us during that lesson you could tell that she took life really beautifully (: huizhen, zihui and yanni were totally retarded people..zihui TOTALLY insane about S.H.E, yanni TOTALLY insane about xiao zhu (luo zhi xiang), and huizhen being lame and stone -.- heh but i always woke up the latest cos i loved sleeping.

our lodging was great cos it was hotels all the way, and the last hotal we stayed in had a living room, a kitchen, sleeping room and a toilet, damn nice! haha most importantly, the tour company was superb, our tour guides were damn cool and super efficient! wont ever forget them! 黑猫！

you know i will update more next time if i have the chance to, but i have nypsco camp tomorrow to think about, so yeah i'll update more next time. nypsco camp from tomorrow till friday. hope it goes well (: and also, mediacorp charity performance on 6 dec. go danz people!

我并没有想念你，因为我不曾忘记过你

catch me

2009-11-12T11:38:00.001+08:00

hello loggies (: i love you!

(D: yibin you are not in the photo again! argh)

recently

2009-11-09T23:23:00.001+08:00

feeling down again. i realise when i cant find a solution, i let it out through tears. when i cant find tears, i think of you.

intensity

2009-11-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

reading is a joy (:

1 week till i leave for taiwan. gosh that's like really soon, woohoo im excited! excited to irritate huizhen, yanni and zihui as they bunk with me :D i really hope that taiwan would be absolutely awesome :D

yesterday was ms yap's final day in school. ah well, i would miss her. definitely. although many people hate her or dislike her, i think that ms yap was a really kind hearted and friendly principal. she did all that she could to connect with us. i really appreciated how she made the effort to attend our yfc events and gave a lot of encouragement. ms yap was one of the persons who interviewed me to let me into nygh when i appealed. so i guess i owe it to her too (: thank you ms yap! haha yesterday our psl skit for ms yap was really great. abigail and xiao en did a very good job. and my ms pasir ris act was retarded -.-

the retarded thing was that it was the last day of school, but i had to stay in school till 9. haha because of sec 4 grad ceremony. apples stayed in the canteen the whole time, some didnt. but me, evie and steph stayed there the whole time. eating yoghurt ice cream, reading, talking, sleeping and stoning. haha its quite fun though (: then we had to go to the second level of the hall for singing -.- sit there and stare at the sec 4 classes go by one by one for like 3 hours then finally we sing for like 1+ minute.. we were so bored that we went siao. jo and evie were in their own world of retardedness and then glenda, steph and i were into laughing patterns and poking (: farnyyy like hellll.

sec 4 next year! too fast. omg siao. super fast. OMG. okay i shall chill. i need to self reflect. seriously. this year was screwed..im bottom 64 of the cohort. bleugh. i need to rethink my journey for sec 4. cant screw up anymore.

yayness had ballet today. ms chew wants my life. i still love ballet not matter what. curse my stupid fat arms and legs. stupid fat block of muscles. argh. will go back to reading (: and i want my logs outing!

joke of the week: a request has been made for the guys at the back to keep quiet :D

stop

2009-11-03T21:36:00.004+08:00

Neither here nor there. Caught in between the pain that im trying to ignore. Constant contradictions are keeping me from a solution. Hatred that i contain within. Distracting noises from scoldings. Hundred and one unfortunate events dawned upon. Nothing i can control or avoid. Struggling to come out from darkness. None shown. Too concern to not care. You wont know that feeling. You wont. Ever.

On a side note, congrats to bro for being accepted into University College of London! (: more will come. i trust.

little bit

2009-11-01T20:39:00.001+08:00

the week that passed was receive results week. i wonder if i said this already, but my results are so awesome. awesome until cannot awesome. not. my msg is sky high. and im contributing to the msg >3 people. very good.

im not sure if i do actually want to blog. but here i am blogging. i shall regurgitate. slowly. hmm tuesday. paloma herrera gala night at esplanade. remarkable. the whole show was breath taking i swear. it was like magic before my eyes. the whole time i was watching the performance, i felt so fortunate. i dont know why, but it really did have that effect on me. the giselle act and the frank sinatra pas de deux was really beautiful. the contemporary pas de deux was really really really gorgeous. i loved every bit of the choreography. ballet is beautiful. not the technique that is beautiful. but how the dancers are so graceful yet strong and how they carry the balance in their body to link every step and every move. and most importantly how they blend their emotions into the music itself. i did not think that paloma herrera was the spotlight of the show though. i thought that every principal dancer had their unique style of dance and carried themselves equally well.

okay. done. thursday was school, piano, go to npo then tuition at night. i kind of like our npo. muscular dystrophy association (singapore). judy is really friendly to us. makes us want to work with them you know? wont be in singapore for the award presentation though. sigh. president sr nathan ehhh. best team award ehhhh. and its quite inappropriate for the team leader to not be there, but oh well. i will be in taiwannn.

then on friday, cca was funny. some seniors + audrie, me, xiaotong stayed back in dance studio to play werewolf. a game similar to murderer but with more and different characters. it was damn funny how we guessed the werewolf. haha yay linkai, siming, jessica, yujia, teoying, wenqi, silei. will miss you seniors! D: i love the dance studio when its emptier. feels like home :D

then yesterday was dance the whole day. ballet from 10 to 1. then went to danz people from 2 till 10.45. i love the feeling of ballet. i feel happy when i do ballet. i know i totally dont have the born natural qualities of a ballerina. and it does matters in a way or another. but i love ballet anyway. every bit of it. ms chew pushes me really hard. i want to be pushed. i know can be even better. i will aim high 80 for my next exam. danz people halloween, studio launching, D'Elements launching, Danz TV launching night was fun. haha had a good time laughing with everyone (:

i want loggies outing to come real soon. and im immersing myself in reading right now. reading rocks. brings you into a whole new world of imagination and perspectives. :D bleugh still have school tomorrow. ahhh well.

live in your world, dance in ours

where it all begun

2009-10-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

weird. i blog when im feeling reflective. am i ever happy? seriously..

i cant blame it on the world to have my life so screwed up at this moment, because i brought it upon myself, in fact. im greedy. i want everything that i lay my eyes on. i push myself to do things because i constantly remind myself that im doing things for the love of it. indeed i am. but if all the things i love start to clash and squeezes me so tight that i find difficulty breathing, then what's the point in doing anything?

you can start but you cant stop. get that feeling? it sucks. now i dont even know what i want anymore, and i dont know what to do. i really dont. its like a vicious cycle that may just go on and on if i dont find a resolution.

i want to go back in time. where it all never started and where i could actually breathe.

all the right moves

2009-10-26T22:38:00.004+08:00

da:ns fest was a blast last night. totally went wild and high :D and united groovers rocked the stage as expected. D'Elements did a great job :D super tired from yesterday, dance till you drop. haha. dancing rocks. thank you jo, shiyan, cher, siqi for coming to support. haha shao wee too :D

still need to perform in studio next week during the launch of danz tv. haha. spent the whole day reading at home today. i feel like a nerd cos im so excited about reading now. i've got 4 new books to read and i still want to buy more. reading my sister's keeper now. lag but still. me is want to buy 'the gift' and 'a place called here' by cecilia ahern. her books are awesome :D

to back track a bit, psl camp went really well :D good job apples! i think we are raising the standards for psl camp. hopefully the next batch takes over nicely. yayness i know the psls love the shirt cos it was designed by MEEEEE. yes yes yes. -ego- water games was hmm interesting. despite the fact that i got bullied by apples..D: mean things.

sian though, no holiday for me..hectic 5 days and im back to school tomorrow to receive my results. sucks that we're getting chem back first. cos i know i will fail it. sigh. sui bian lah. i did my best to study all that i could. -hopes and prays that hard work pays off- although i know it never does pay off for me. blaaa. and and i want a logs outing luh. looks like we will have to wait for it. sighhh

foa next friday somemore. my face is gonna die from excessive make up application. lalala. hate the world of superficiality.

You know how silence can push in at your eardrums in the dark, make you deaf?

can't help

2009-10-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

i hate post exams.
cos i start to get busy and lose myself all over again.

even when you're gone

2009-10-19T10:20:00.003+08:00

wanted to post yesterday, but i didnt want to touch the com cos i wanted to concentrate on doing math. but in any case, if i count today, it's been 101 days since yi gu ma has left. time flies, as usual. and i still miss her dearly, as usual. something's just missing inside you know? bleugh i miss her presence so damn much.

anyway, one last exam tomorrow and we're done for the year. i dont really care how well or how badly i do this time already. as long as i pass my overall and get promoted. because i know that i did my best to mug for my eoys and i actually studied and enjoyed the process of studying. haha. oh and big thank you to peng ning and bernard for helping my chem. helped me a damnnnnned lot! i think without the help i will like f9 chem, although i still think i will fail chem. heh

you know what? after exams, i will create my own list of things to do during the holidays. cos i realised that i want to do a lot of things but never really got the chance to this year. yup yup. yay im excited. math please dont kill me tomorrow! i love you okayy (--) sian bro gone for 3 weeks straight not coming home D:

okay shall jump jump to do math now. jiayou

somehow you come along

run this town

2009-10-15T21:46:00.002+08:00

sucks to forget. forget your whole aim in life. im now losing my passion and i dont actually know what i want right now. its like im mood swinging again so whatever..but its only when you mood swing will you go think about everything and reflect. im so screwed. need to get rid of my freaking self centered attitude and get a life.

maybe one day these sore feet would lead me somewhere.

live like we're dying

2009-10-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
we could make a feast from these crumbs
and we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you what would you wish you would've done

gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
who would you call with your last goodbyes
should be so careful who we live out our lives
so when we long for absolution there'll no one on the line

gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

remember my name

2009-10-03T12:05:00.003+08:00

i think i lost my nike sports shoe for good D: i loved that pair of shoes can..why on earth did i have to leave it on the bus and why the hell is sbs so idiotic, dont even call back to tell me if they cant find it.

anyway, 3 down 4 to go. i just want to pass my whole year, seriously. danced all night long last night..didnt do as well as we could have during the preview though. tonight is preview in front of the esplanade people. we have to buck up D'Elements! bahh yesterday was just a horrible day for me and im freaking tired now.

had award interview for yfc just now, suppose we did all that we could? let fate decide our place bah. watched fame with kexin, fiona, weiqing and alica. i think it was nice and abstract, but the storyline was not as exciting as i expected, step up and honey's still the best (:

jiayou for the remaining exams bah.

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
The world is catching up to you while your running away to chase your dream
Its time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change and maybe im not ready

gay

2009-09-25T23:11:00.002+08:00

i was super high today with glenda. damn funny. we have come to a conclusion that we both will either sleep in class, or go super high and retarded in class. cant stand how gay glenda is. i can laugh till i die at all the weirded things that we do. 'HI GAY!' -waves-

oh and on wednesday after the URA trip, we just got off the bus and i was previously sleeping in the bus, so i said:

Elena: ahh damn tired, i think im going to sleep in the bus later back home.
Melissa: aiya elena can sleep anywhere one lah! she can even sleep during PE!!!
Tania: huh? really?!
Vivian: how to sleep during PE!
Elena: haha yeah..
Melissa: yeah i saw her sleeping while the teacher was talking to us before we played the matches. i think one day we will be playing basketball halfway during PE, then elena suddenly faint and fall on the ground. then everyone will rush to her in shock then she will 'im fine, im just sleeping'

LOL! haha so niao. training tomorrow at 8. jiayou d'elements, dont have much time left to practise. im damn scared for eoys. -prays hard-

no mercy

2009-09-20T23:28:00.002+08:00

I AM SO FREAKING PISSED RIGHT NOW.
STOP MAKING LIFE SO DIFFICULT FOR ME YOU FREAKING PERSON.
AFTER THIS IM SO SO SO STAYING AWAY FROM YOU

tell you something

2009-09-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

sometimes when all things quieten down and you start to focus, you think a lot.
none of it is bad im saying, but im beginning to miss again. somehow its a natural thing; for me to think of that person, and have this gush of feelings coming back to you. that gush of feelings give this sadness once again.

probably right from the start i never really accepted the fact that you left, maybe your absence felt more of a temporary thing. but when i start to acknowledge that absence as something that would last forever, it hurts so much. its hard for anyone to feel this feeling. the feeling of losing someone really close to you, and knowing that the person has left you for good. those memories you once had together, will never relive, and everything will never be the same again.

i suppose that feeling will never go away. it would stay in my heart for as long as i live. acceptance is painful, and losing something precious hurts so much. it gives you an ouch sensation inside and stays there.

how i wish you were still here.

other way up

2009-09-15T20:30:00.003+08:00

i want to take ballet intermediate next year. i will be better.

okay i've decided. hello world, elena wants to dance and study hardddd. dont bug her with anything else or she'll bite.

im being emo about eoys because i fear it like mad..im finally studying but im wondering if its too little too late. i realised how everything is say one thing and do another thing. why is it always that way? sigh.

the world is filled with fakeness. at least i dont betray my soul; dont want to be involve in your fakeness, thank you.
whee

sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way i dont want to wake up from you.

nothing else

2009-09-10T20:50:00.000+08:00

hate myself so so much

killing me softly

2009-09-08T12:39:00.003+08:00

suddenly found shiyan's photo during logs stayover. amusing.

anw, sore throat sucks. please dont fall sick elena.

well yeah im not feeling well. my arms are aching now. i guess after resting i'll be stronger (: elena has to build up her stamina and let her body get used to dancing everyday. speaking of dance, hello D'Elements! get ready for da:ns fest@esplanade on the 26 october! haha and ABDC (America's Best Dance Crew) totally rocks, go watch it on mtv.com

finally took a close look at the eoys schedule today and realised how screwed i am. i need to buck up these few days. like i said, i shall only care about mugging and dance. so that's what i shall do because i dont want to fail my sec 3 year. then again, im supposed to go for flora harmony competition @greatworld this friday. im not prepared at all this year. still figuring out all the flower breeds and the type of structure to do. i think they want to kill us lah, siao..give us all the weird weird flowers this time. talk about murus, eustoma, liatris, limonium, solidago, pandanus, philodendron..and that's not even one third of the flowers given. should i just call in sick? or push my myself again :D i dont really want to break my record of participating every year. bahhh

yesterday had ih and maths supplementary in the morning. maths was pissing. well, it wasnt pissing until mr ng overtimed 45 mins. then glenda needed to rush off already then he still 5 more mins 5 more mins to talk crap with us. zzz..damn funny cos glenda was like frantic and covering her face with anger while the both of us stared at him talk. then i kept laughing cos he wont stop, and gay was dying. hahahahaha but poor gay, think she no time for lunch.

went for ihope concert with ot last night too. the guys are the same. in a way, that they are worse than girls. ask them go buy food they stone down there. until you finally force them to go and buy food, the food counter's closed -.- and they didnt even have their dinner lah. weird people. slcot: always trying to kill themselves in a way or another. ooh and i thought that nyco's pipa performance was great as usual (: the gefang performance was surprisingly good too.

feel so sian at home. having time at home may not exactly be a good thing for me, cos i start thinking of random things. like my deceased aunt D: and yeah i feel sian though i have things to complete urgently.

okay i shall finish sketching out the flower arrangement structure first then plan out my studying schedule, and erm..practise piano omg. then recap steps and START STUDYING (wonder if that would happen today). no..before that, i should go take my temperature first to make sure i dont have a fever.

When there's no one else

Look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend just

Trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength

That will guide your way

If you will learn to begin to

Trust the voice within

I made that decision, I will follow through no matter what.

make that leap

2009-09-01T12:09:00.004+08:00

HELLO. yay i get my whole day off today, finally NOTHING at all today. so that i can mug/chiong homework/piano/dance whatever not :D most importantly, i need to do a self reflection then replan my life path. yup yup. gosh i sound so stupid typing this out but hell yeah i do have a life path. its something that would give you and aim and get you going all the way. hahahaha

alright so yesterday teachers' day celebration, and yay 310 performed (: with the 410 shirt o.0 then i went back to primary school. NANYANG PRIMARY! obviously saw ms yasmeen. ming rui, nicole, grace, amanda, hui yin, yong chang, zhan yu, derrick went back too. and i amazingly managed to persuade jeremy to come back too. im so imba, yes i am. he finally came back ever since 2 years ago. im serious. he's freaking tall now duh. then went to cine to watch bandslam. quite a nice movie lah, better than hsm or camprock. not so disney like. then after that hui neng came! yay but i had to leave for ballet so hopefully we get to catch up soon again.

then went for ballet. got scolded for not coming last week again (due to chinese dance performance). okay i really really want to excel this time, so i shall be determined to go twice a week from now on. yay dancing rocks, which goes back to danz people. im so dead because the rest of the crew are so damn imba, and i'll have to improve like mad to match up to their standards. gosh. esplanade in end oct! D: i shall finish the whole routine of 'guarantee' by this friday and recap 'unstoppable' until i can dance it anytime anywhere.

screw it cos eoys are so spread out. WHYYY. its like until 21 oct i think. and we need time to rehearse for esplanade. eeee. okay its okay, like what jootz said 'don't say no time, you guys are only in secondary school, sure have time one. all you need is really time management. even your 30 second day dreaming could be used to recap steps in your head'.

alright i shall be determined. mug dance mug dance mug dance mug dance. jootz 'so you do ballet AND chinese dance and you're in this. for what?' haha cos i love dancing. i dont have the height or the natural abilities. but i love it. so go go go elena! shall do well for eoys and dance. yay.

EDC!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=115919220895&oid=20537065616

nothing

2009-08-29T10:32:00.003+08:00

whee finally having a week that i feel completely relaxed. all i have to worry about now is dance and studies. much simpler now (: actually i have to start nyps cocoa programmes but i'd prolly not be going for the camp cos i might be missing it due to november taiwan thingo.

i kind of love 310 now. my class rocks cos it has the wackiest people ever (: and we're damn united, which is awesome. haha jiayou 310 for teacher's day performance on monday! yay. and glenda and i were like talking the other day how ironic it is for us to be sitting right infront, yet the both of us sleep the most in class. heh. i also dont know why, ever since i moved to the front, i just kept sleeping uncontrollably. damn funny lah the both of us sleeping. then amanda and shaian were saying 'the day you dont sleep in class, the sky will fall.' 'you keep sleeping in class one lah! i wonder what you do during your sleeping times at home...' haha! ouch. they are damn funny okay. YELLOW

oh yes, did i tell you that i love my new phone? yes yes my 8mp phone. HEH i love the fact that its totally white too. LOL yibin's recommendation. hahahaha. okay i shall not flaunt it, later someone steal my phone.

okay for once im really looking forward to doing homework, and going for piano and hip hop training later. hopefully they dont do conditioning or other weird dance cos i want to dance properly. and i love my brother okay! everyone shall be jealous, cos my brother rocks. yes. oh and on a sidenote, i really hate irresponsible people who just cant give a damn. seriously, if you cant be bothered, you're such an irritating burden to the rest and you really dont deserve anything. so stop being such a fake cos sooner or later you'll just end up in deep sh**.

i miss slcot! D:

say

2009-08-24T00:14:00.003+08:00

it's over.
i'm so so so happy cos of the people who really truly helped me. and i feel indebted to them all because they're so so understanding and did so much more than i deserve.
i HAVE TO say thank you to:

my parents: who helped me and supported me so so so so much!
my brother: who came down to the event TO HELP even though he just came back to singapore from taiwan
15 SLCOT: LOGGIES OF COURSE (for physical or mental support)! and jun wei, long jian for volunteering and making it so fun for me. chermain, victoria and gary for coming (:
310: for understanding my condition for the past few months, and enduring my inactiveness in SIAs and any discussion. not being pissed off by my everyday tiredness and sianess and even cheering me on. i was too tired to thank you guys, but i really truly mean it!
mr lim chow hoon: for asking me over and over again if i was okay and telling me time and time again to take care and sleep more, even though i couldnt.
volunteers!: i was really very touched by you guys cos you all helped out so much and kept the spirit going even it rained and all. big big thank you for you effort! think we really had fun
my second aunt: yay i think im going to tear again, but who cares. even though you left before i could complete my project, i know that during the times that you were still here, you really gave me encouragement. i miss you k!

this will be the most tiring and mentally torturing experience ever, and will be the most interesting and enrishing learning experience ever.

thank you jano as well! for coming down to support me even though we havent met or talked for ages. ILY! also, all those who seriously encouraged me and cheered me on. its appreciated!

im so touched. really.

when it all falls apart

2009-08-22T18:47:00.001+08:00

gotta pick myself up, where do i start?
cos i cant turn to you, when it all falls apart.

loud silence

2009-08-07T11:47:00.008+08:00

yay block tests are finally over. funny how i dont feel relieved at all, the fact that block tests are over just reminds me to get back to my normal life and totally kill myself. ah well, block tests this time were okayy..not particularly confident in any subject but not particularly 'given up hope' on any subject either. so i hope and pray that i dont do badly, cos this time was really last minute cramming.

and now i have a swollen eye. oh yay. i told myself please fall sick because i really want to take a break, but then again it isnt such a good idea afterall because i cant afford to be sick or down, which totally sucks. its okay, not everything goes well all the time, so i shall just take this as a lesson and hope for the better.

gahh sometimes i just wish that i could just shake off all responsibilities, but this is how it is so just accept it elena. im really in love with dance lately. it just makes you forget about all the irritating stuff and when you dance the feeling is just indescribable. ballet gives you grace, chinese dance gives you sensuality and hip hop gives you this venting anger feeling. HAHA! one day i want to learn lyrical too, its like super carefree and it expresses emotions so well. but then again, as much as i love dancing, i cant spend too much time on it. its like this clear line that i cant cross over because afterall im not aspiring to be some dancer in the future.

but really it has set me thinking lately, that dance is really more than what you see on stage. when you dance, you dont need a reason behind it..it just happens. it doesnt restrict you to anything, and you'll be willing to do anything to dance. hahaha im obsessed. even my parents are saying that im thinking of dance a little too much. but i really love it, its not something that i see as leisure or what you would say as 'an extra thing'. well, its harder to explain than to understand, because only when you feel it will you know how it's like. whee

i dont know, but this year seems fascinating in a way. cos everything comes up unexpected and the times that i have to decide and accept are too many to be counted. so it just comes down to one word. jiayou?

(ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! cant take it. is there such thing as a ranting wall that i can totally rant till i drop dead?! )

you wont talk and im too tired to care; caught in the middle of nothingness

go away

2009-08-01T00:01:00.002+08:00

hi there mood swings, will you leave me alone? i want to be a happy person and live my life with joy. go away okay? i don't like you. at all.

let me go. please?

right here

2009-07-30T20:29:00.001+08:00

相信雨过天晴
it's alright, i'm happier like that. (:
love the people around me, like seriously.

i beg you

2009-07-19T10:38:00.003+08:00

stop crying elena!!! you promised not to cry anymore. you promised to be stronger!
no matter who blames, who scolds you, who hates you, dont cry. dont care what others say, just take it in and swallow. and for all those people who thinks that elena is nice to bully and you can just step on me, think again. step all you want, i dont care.

up there

2009-07-18T23:26:00.003+08:00

hello yi gu ma (cantonese)

it has been a week. how are you up there? i hope that you've reunited safely with yeye, mama and mm gu ma (5th aunt). things here are tough, and i miss your presence very very much. miss you telling me stupid things or your naggings and your acting cute moments with me. i promise to watch all the korean movies that you told me was nice.

life feels weird without you. something is missing and i cant get used to it. everything that im doing is getting really tough and the road is really rough, but i should be fine right? i'll be as stong as you are. i'll be more thick skinned and give my all for everything, i won't break down anymore.

i know i have a responsibility and i have to be strong no matter what happens.help me get through this tough journey okay? i miss you very much.

love,
ah yee.

what now

2009-07-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

what happens if i just keep crying and crying and my mind is totally blank, but i know that i cant stay this way forever and i have to be stronger than what i am now.

i cant make myself any happier because i just cant. i dont have the motivation to be happier and i dont want to be like that but i just cant help it. someone save me before i drop into a deeper hole?

the feeling is horrible and i can feel myself breaking apart.

zero

2009-07-14T20:33:00.002+08:00

im down to zero and i know that crying wont help.
sick of repeating myself over and over again, sick of everything.
zero motivation, zero zero zero.

missing

2009-07-12T11:17:00.002+08:00

I dont know, but your absence is just too sudden.

Maybe if I stop thinking about you I won't feel as terrible, but to think that you won't be here anymore, not seeing you anymore, not hearing you anymore, it just feels horrible. Its as if a part of me is missing.

Okay I shall stop here, or I'll start pouring again.

I miss you er gu ma.

all up

2009-07-05T10:40:00.003+08:00

Happy 1 month SLC! i miss you very very much and i love you very very much, SLC (:

okay anyway, these days have been street sales and street sales for YFC. and i have come to conclude that espoir is very the siao. can you imagine? first general meeting on friday, then saturday start to have scandal already. insaneness.

but anyway, im happy with yesterday's sales at east coast park, family day. jiayi and i totally just collected the money and recorded the sales. then the guys went round to sell the items. heh they did quite well okay! especially the hard working ones. ooh and i was so surprised to see chern yuan, jeff, ming xuan and some others down there helping too. damn cool lah.

elena is tired but retardedly enjoying the tiredness. jiayou espoir, we shall be retarded yet pro.

hmm and i hope that my aunt's okay. she entered the hospital this morning cos she was too weak. she's having cancer, and her body's very weak. she can't talk, neither can she eat. rather worried about her..

i promise

2009-06-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

memories of the past,
memories of the present,
the times are now gone,
life is now back to norm,
we can only smile,
we can only laugh,
at those times we had together,
be it good or sad.
its over now dont regret,
just make sure 15SLC Logs is something you wont forget.
keep it in your heart,
keep it in your soul,
it aint over, that's something we all know.

love you loggies :D

dance, subaru

2009-06-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

for dancers, technique is a tool.
don't be a slave to technique

for life

2009-06-07T12:07:00.002+08:00

15th Student Leaders Convention!

it all paid off (: now that slc has ended, i seriously dont know where to start off from. but i know this has been the greatest memory of the 15 years i have lived.

slc was great. 15th slc totally rocked it. yes ot, we are the unbeatables cos even H1N1 didnt stop us from flying high! slc has become a daily routine for the past week that i will never forget. logs room, ops room was our second home during slc (: logistics slogging the saikang work by blowing 200+ water balloons and 500+ air filled balloons, sewing through ACRLIC paint. ouch. picking up grains of rice from the pond. and of course, another disgusting and disturbing thing that chuan ling and i had to handle. haha that we shant bring it up again :S

concept being oh so tired throughout slc to prepare for their youth council meetings and had to endure the long long hours of slc to chair those meetings. have a good rest yeah! and also programmes who spent so much hard work to prepare the fun og games and the HIGH grand finale! 4 months of brain torture, lack of sleep, mood swinging together, feeling like giving up, horrible results, getting scolded by people around us cos we dao stuff for slc. it all doesnt matter, cos what matters is slc! slc is imba!! :D

logs, who cares if we are totally not known by the participants, who cares if we do all the behind the scene work. we are equally imba and we ARE NOT INVISIBLE! 'I LIKE IT, OOH OHH!' 15 slc ot really rocked the grand finale performance, that 7 mins of dancing on the stage felt the best because we really danced our hearts out, not bothering about how funny or awkward we looked, we were just dancing as one slc ot. i miss that moment where we totally zi-highed on the stage and got the participants to high with us as well. i trust that we gave the participants a wonderful memory too.

watching each other grow throughout slc was great. especially bernard the blur one to become the annoying spastic bernard. HAHA XD and i think through slc i really learnt so much more than i ever could, i also opened up so much more. waking up this morning without logs by my side felt weird, but i wont ever forget logs eating, sleeping, being tired and saikang-ing as ONE. i never thought that slc would be so important to me, in january the day before the first meeting i went for, enhan just asked if there is one more psl exco that would want to join slc ot, and i just agreed to it without giving it a thought. that reckless decision definitely wasnt a wrong decision, in fact it is the best decision i have ever made.

gosh 15slcot i love you so much! im going for obs tomorrow and i dont want this memory to fade at all. i will grab 15slcot along with me and use it as a strength of determination, i promise. andre, daniel, long jian, peng ning, chermain, mun wai, gary, sally, zhao yong, yang yi, kay hian, stephanie, marilyn, victoria, yi chen, jun wei, esther, nathaneal, chuan ling, ang yang, bernard, perry, josephine, shi yan, yibin, YOU ALL ARE THE BEST AND I WILL NEVER FORGET ANYONE OF YOU :D thank you guys so much for brightening up my life. especially logs for being there for me no matter what.

15th slc will be a spirit for all of us and engraved in our hearts for our whole life. dont cry because its over, smile because it happened. remember, we will be schoolmates in 1.5 years time! XD

who are we are we are we are we?!

15 15 SLC!!!

we are the 15th slc robOTs, the unbeatables.

time

2009-05-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh you are kidding me. time is out to get me. AHHH

dance baby

2009-05-24T01:36:00.002+08:00

like oh my gosh i love dance. I LOVE DANCE. I FREAKING LOVE DANCE OKAYY!
hc dance night rocked (: im so proud of our seniors! i was totally mesmerized by their performances. and i finally met da jie again! i love my da jie. aileen you rock :D

and our yfc mentor is totally cute.

JIAYOU NYCD SEC 3 BATCH. CHIONG

lost

2009-05-18T18:07:00.006+08:00

its one of those times again that i really really miss the past. never really thought that primary school would leave me with so many unforgetable memories that till now, i still cant let go.

talking to 310 people makes me think of the past. firstly because melissa was my kindergarten 'best friend' and secondly grace was my school bus mate in primary school. im just starting to wonder how the people i used to be close to in primary are doing now. i miss the primary 1 boys in school bus cos they were so close to me. the moment i step in to the bus they start talking to you and getting you to sit next to them to teach them maths. and i remember a few times when i bump into one of the p1 ones at the corridors, and he would actually walk straight to me and hug me. i guess kids are just like that, but everything they do makes your heart melt.

i wonder how charmaine and her sister are doing now. its only walking distance from their house, but i have never seen them ever since i left primary school. i miss argueing and talking with them (: its amazing that until now, i still can remember their faces so vividly. its as if just yesterday i was talking to them.

most importantly i miss wangying joey and the rest. its just different from other friends. i miss singing with them all the time, because they are the only ones who would know how much i love singing. singing during pe and even 1.6km for napfa. it used to be a great joy to go to school. and of course i miss ms yasmeen, ms ho, yang lao shi and late mr ho. the great teachers who gave me so many opportunities and helped me along. mr ho may have been a weird teacher whom colleagues disliked, but his strict teaching and love for his students really had an impact on me. its sad to think that someone who helped me so much has already passed on. to mr ho up there: thank you so much, i miss you.

right now, everyone has changed and its hard to get that feeling back again. i bet no silly person would be thinking of the past like i am now, but sometimes i feel as if something is missing. and that missing piece seems to be something that would have existed in the past. even as im typing this i feel like crying. ahh well. things change. i guess we just have to move on (:

everything is getting complicated. but the fear of falling will no longer exist, because every step we take will make us stronger. i will feel fortunate to have those great memories, and having people around me, giving me support.

we all have that inner child, we cant be strong all the time.

magic

2009-05-16T17:05:00.002+08:00

yay hello. im supposed to feel tired now cos i slept at 3+ and woke up at 6.30 this morning, but apparently i dont. hmm okayy. yay me. slept over at shi yan's with the rest of logs last night. it was rather hilarious, come to think of it. we actually finished the work that we had to do rather early, but we dragged till 3am. wow. and it was super funny when chuan ling said let's take photos, then we started camwhoring. eeyer yibin not in the photo, forever missing! argh. i like shi yan's soft toys :D LEMONNN and they kept throwing it around. tsk. esp ang yang and perry, love beating people with pillows and soft toys.

oh oh AND ang yang is super duper pro at sight reading. omg i can never sight read like that lah. -open book, play fluently- why are guys so musically inclined! :O

then this morning we left early cos the guys had open house and i had to go for maths tuition. haha it was quite funny cos throughout tuition my eyelids were super heavy and i kept writing the wrong things and making careless mistakes. and yay i love ballet cos ballet makes people feel goooood!

me is happy cos i scored well for geog :D and i expectedly failed ih! lucky that it isnt some single digit, AND I PASSED 50% :O yay logs, we cLOGtime lah, night before then start mugging for ih also can pass 50%. the imbaness.

okay logs makes you feel amazingly retarded and high. and i dont know what to design for logs shirt D: after dancing qian hong once again yesterday, i felt great. like seriously great. as i said for dont know how many times, qian hong is the only dance that makes you FEEL like you are dancing. you have no idea how amazing it feels like to FEEL dance. dont care for whatever dance that i dance in nycd that makes me feel useless or whatever, as long as there's qian hong, it will be the greatest memory of nycd :D

im in love with logs! yay. SLC! and and i love my brother! double yay.
highing is good for health, you should seriously go high.

BYEE

ignorance

2009-05-11T22:59:00.002+08:00

YAY logs you rock :D pretty pretty banner. jiayou 15SLC OT! we can make it happen.

3 more weeks. 3 more weeks! ahh okay its damn fast. oh well, shall treasure the precious time with logs. and the retardedness.

Ang Yang: sheep

Chuan Ling: turtle

Josephine: PIG

Perry: puppy :D

Bernard: bear

Elena: Elephant D:

Shi Yan: monkey!

Yibin: giraffe

hehe. okay you guys rock! and i need to stop getting distracted by msn convos with logs. jiayou jiayou jiayou.

haha tell me straight in the face, dont keep ignoring. im not some stupid person you know.

wheeness

2009-05-08T23:17:00.002+08:00

elena is HIGH and ECSTATIC! :D

okay i have completely no idea why. but i feel so good cos im happy. yay. and i suddenly feel so much for slc! whee 15th slc 3 more weeks to go! LET'S DO IT XD
oh and i dont know why, but i feel so happy that i got a1 for maths even though almost everyone got a1 for maths. im just super relieved cos i totally chiong maths in like 1-2 days of totally maths just before maths test. YAY i got an a1! -i know thats such an overreaction-

ahhh okay im so going to faint once i get my ih results cos i think i will get like Z100! yeah my counting got problem. how many alphabets are there? o.o i want to go for ballet but tomorrow is like vesak day so there's no ballet lesson. cries. oh well, im just like high right now and siao.

i will now go issue hours to se comm ppl for kindness month, work on ot shirt design, and faster get banner quotations! -screams- okay jiayou.

BEING HAPPY FEELS GREAT :D

blah

2009-05-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

let's just say, dont ever fall sick again elena ho yan yee.
falling sick makes me feel really lowww and miserable. i hate that feeling.
i dont know why, i suddenly miss the people i used to talk to a lot last time.
joey,ms yasmeen, luke...many others D:

what hurts the most

2009-05-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

yeah, im sick again. woke up this morning hoping that it'd be better, but it got worse. gahh then i had to skip logs meeting :( jiayou logs! wecLOGtime.comm! felt really horrible and in like dying condition. my fever actually exceeded 39 degrees. i was like shocked lah. so no choice had to go and see the doctor, so now im with 4 types of medicine. and i took an injection to bring my fever down.

dont know why i keep falling sick lah, somemore i keep falling sick at the wrong time. now that im sick, i have no energy to do much. and i need to study for maths and bio! i dont want to flunk these 2 subjects, knowing that i already killed my ih blocks. oh well. i cant afford to fall sick, i need the time! D: and i sound like a frog...

oh and i feel really low now cos the fever is making me really miserable. all i can do is to lie down and rest. trust me, falling sick is not something fun. i felt like some sneezing oven lah. hmm i suddenly feel like dancing, i miss dancing. simply because i have been missing ballet for a month and syf just ended so there's like no dance now. eee i want to dance. i miss qian hong. qian hong was the only dance that made me feel as if i was really dancing. i could truly, deeply feel the dance, and i love the music! ahh if only laoshi could give sec 3s the chance to dance qian hong as a batch once more. QIAN HONG!

on a sidenote, im feeling guilty. seeing what you are today, i feel guilty. i know it isnt really my fault, but i just feel partially responsible for what you have become. you weren't like this last time, you could have gone up or down. in the end, you went down. im not sure if i had not ignored you last time, i could have helped you in any way, but right now im feeling sad seeing you like this. i guess as time passes by, the gap will only get smaller or bigger. right now you dont even deserve pity from anyone, cos you are close to the state of hopeless. even so, i question myself. why didnt i do anything to help you?

sometimes we just need somebody to be there for you.

with love

2009-04-22T22:54:00.004+08:00

GOLD WITH HONOURS BABY!
i love you nycd. + hccd & rjcd
南洋华族舞蹈员，就是不一样

nothing we want

2009-04-16T16:21:00.006+08:00

hmm woke up with severe stomach ache this morning at 4am. the really painful type that comes on and off, on and off. thought it was gastric pain at first, but it got worse. went to see the doctor, and i was told that i may have appendicitis.. got super freaked out.

after i went home the pain still continued and so i was advised to go for blood test for appendicitis. erm yeah i have slight symptoms of appendicitis, however its too early to confirm cos it may just be inflammation surrounding the appendix and not appendicitis. so far i think im getting better and i hope condition do not worsen. sigh why does these things have to happen at the wrong time.

i am afraid of going for an operation, but im more afraid of not being able to go for syf. i mean like after such a long period of time, training so hard for syf and this happens? i pray hard that its just a mild infection.

i dont want to miss syf.

//edit

我没事，it shouldnt be appendicitis but still having like acute pain once in a while. i'll be fine, jiayou syf!

it comes around

2009-04-11T23:55:00.004+08:00

'weekends are like rainbows, they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close' quoted from zx.

haha gosh stupid deep person, with a really cute description that i totally agree on. ah well, its like that. had om singapore finals today, it went quite well i guess? really happy that our structure took in 188kg in comparison to our previous 158kg. was rather down and worried when our structure was like 0.7g overweight and they were frantically blow drying and shaving the structure to make it weigh 18.0kg, but we made it in the end.

slc ot came down to support us, thank you very much! didnt really want them to see my group's performance cos i knew it wasnt good. but overall i guess we did better than expected? got 5th in our problem's div. could have gotten a 3rd actually, but our spontaneous got a really horrible mark; or else we could have gotten a 3rd! because all our other catagories were 3rd except spontaneous, which was one of the lowest scores. RAHH nvm, its an experience (:

congrats to shiyan, sally, yanni's group on 3rd for their problem. thought they deserved better, but great job! rgs, acs and mgs (primary) was totally owning the prizes lah. haha. nanyang jiayou, we will improve over time!

left a sunday to chiong work and chem test, which i wouldnt obviously fail. i shall sleep now and find inspiration for slc shirts tomorrow.

pressing on

2009-04-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You might succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit.

we will get there (:

headstrong

2009-03-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

you can't be so determined all the time.
give in?

nothing to display

2009-03-29T00:03:00.002+08:00

elena is pissed. very very pissed. im in a dilemma and i dont know what to do about it.

i feel like telling you straight in the face but i dont want to lose my temper. but i cant stand looking at it in a calm manner not caring about it, letting it be.

change of plans, i need to rant.

even after ranting to someone i still feel completely lost and i dont know what to do! AHH

depth

2009-03-24T21:33:00.003+08:00

bello. holidays are like over. oh well, never really felt like a holiday anyway. hmm okay shall not update about the sentosa trip for chinese dance since i somewhat did in trippies blog. okay so hci gala on saturday. whole slc ot went except esther i think. haha it was quite fun actually, chuan ling started all the lame brain twisters and stuff, super funny lah cos the guys couldnt get it. haha. then we asked andre and peng ning to join us and they were totally blur. LOL whee 'how many meh mehs jumped over the wall?' :D

oh yah logs were being totally retarded. haha like omg it was so unexpected, cos i was like reading the programme sheet thing. then like bernard kept looking at me and somewhat laughing. then they suddenly sang me a birthday song. haha so funny lah, cos i was totally stunned like huh?! thank you logs for the pillow! its super cute :D and the rainbow, how sad we didnt manage to take a photo with it before it disappeared.

haha gala was funn :D despite some weird stuff happening. argh oh well, i shall try to forget that it ever happened okayy. and anyway zx you apologised like many many times already, even though i never even blamed you for it in the first place. i think you said sorry like 7 times or something lah. sms, call, msn, sms. gahh just want to forget that it happened.

oh then today was retarded again, i was sleeping at my table this morning, then 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' LOL. i was like 'huh what?' cos my birthday was like more than a week ago and today is si hui's birthday. btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY SI HUI! haha yeah. they damn funny lah, dorcas, shaian, huizhen and amanda. they gave me like a bunch on greeeeen stuff. cos my supposedly fav colour is green haha. its like 6 zig pens, a green long long curvy pencil and a green duck soft toy o.o. haha super cute.

oh crap cos tomorrow is my ballet exam and im nervous as usual. shall be calm and not screw up. jiayou elena.

sometimes you've got to get lost to find yourself

over the moon

2009-03-17T00:33:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU
haha seriously i cant thank you all enough. elena feels very loved and fortunate because of everyone who wished her happy birthday this year :D it means a lot to me, really.
even if im liu ge ba pai only in syf, i dont care already! yay love you all very much okay. and i hate zan yang and jeremy yeo for god's sake. YAY
and oh kudos to the first, the last, and the first belated. luke, zhixian, yibin accordingly. funny people lah. HAHA

will update things tomorrow okay. IM HAPPY. THANK YOU

hanging

2009-03-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

ahhh this week has been really hectic cos of slc. the worst thing is that after a whole week of many many drafts, advisors tell us font cannot, colour cannot, picture cannot, which is like 90% of our website design? and logo..i need to get inspiration by sunday. jiayou logs! jiayou 15th slc ot, our slc will be a success.

i like reached home at 10.45 and im totally lost right now. i sign in, open my inbox and it goes like this:

[15_slc_ot] lalalalala (slc)
Kindness Week Proposal (psl)
OM (odyssey of the mind)
Citybank-YMCA Youth For Causes lalalalala workshop stuff (yfc)
[15thSLCLogs] (slc) x 7 down the list

okay. so its like it displays 4 things that i have to complete and have to commit to. and my mind right now is worrying for ballet. i really want to get above 85 and improve from my last year's result, but im like missing so many lessons and my mind is not focussed whenever i go for ballet!

im not giving up, im not ranting, im such in a great dilemma cos everything right now is clashing and i dont know what to do. you know what? i dont even care about my birthday cos that date just appears to me as the day when chinese dance camp starts, when yfc workshop is, and when om day camp is. i've completely no mood to celebrate whatever stupid thing i tell you.

and anyway i want to apologise to whoever everyone who's affected by my 'messed up'ness. i dont mean to be like that! i'll slap myself and change i promise.

oh also thank you THEapples'09 for the cupcake celebration of my early birthday, i really didnt expect it. thanks for calling me out of my comm meeting -.-

breeze

2009-03-07T00:07:00.002+08:00

yay hello this week was the week of nycd batch 10 slack week! haha yay we got back our energy as a batch together, and laoshi is somewhat closer to us now so i think that is good, especially all the private trainings with laoshi, it really helped us a lot (: and haha we are really retarded as a batch! WHEE you guys can NEVER be quiet. HAHA. i love our batch dance, let's continue to practise it and make it perfect. yay. jiayou for syf, even if our parts are like super small.

haha anyway, CONGRATS TO MY BROTHER FOR GETTING A FREAKING HIGH RESULT OF 7As AND MERIT FOR GEOG H3 FOR A LEVELS! oh my goose. im so happy for him okay, was literally jumping and hopping around when he told me on the phone :D my brother is imba, his hard work really paid off.

anyway, parents came back an hour ago. haha mummy bought me lots of clothes. haha. im still trying to find a way to download photoshop onto my brother's computer or do something so that i can use photoshop during the weekends to finish up the slc web design, argh help. the trial version better work on my brother's com. -prays hard- and once again, im so so proud of my brother!

hmm my zhuang tai not very stable in ballet today, FOCUS ELENA.

direction

2009-03-01T11:14:00.002+08:00

gahh i dont know i feel so empty nowadays! the multi-committing thing is making me quite messed up. its like im half a person everywhere. i go to school and im always half not listening in class, go for cca also half of the information and half of the qing xu cant get into me, psl stuff also just want to avoid, ballet and piano i have no time to practise, slc im also mentally half not there, om im also half not there. im like losing myself!

now i feel as if there is no environment that i feel completely comfortable in, or something that i am completely confident in doing. im having this left out feeling in everything simply because i cant commit fully into everything that i do. and i feel bad. i feel bad that ms chew has high expectations of me and i keep missing lessons, i feel bad that in school i dont really talk much to my classmates, i feel bad that in chinese dance im not doing my job as level i/c and audrie does more as assist. i/c, i feel bad that i have to tell carol that i've been busy so i didnt practise much of piano, i feel bad that im always not knowing what's going on for om other than painting backdrops, being told on what to act as and going for meetings when i can, i feel bad that in slc im not doing much, i feel bad that im quite totally detached with what's going on with cocoa (nypsco), i feel bad that my parents have to worry about me being so busy and i can only reply with a 'orh' in the morning cos im too tired to explain.

this is the point where i need to do some soul searching and organisation. elena! be more responsible for what you are doing! gonna take this coming week to sort out everything and make sure that i do not lag anymore, especially my studies. argh damn left out now lah. and now my parents are overseas for the week so i'll be lonelier. it's whenever people say they are busy and tired, i look at myself and wonder, what about me? it's not the competition of who's busier now. just that now almost all of my commitments are of equal priority so i really cant prioritise. you know what? i need to talk to someone who can actually listen and understand, not those busy people or super slack people who will just tell you: aiya can one lah..

so sad cant go with my class to obs this time, then everyone will come back with interesting experiences and i will just sit and listen a usual. oh well, atleast nycd batch 10 will be together. let's make the best of this coming week (: jiayou?

all we need is a direction.

that way

2009-02-25T22:24:00.002+08:00

hello 15th slc (: jiayou logs, wecLOGtime.comm!

let's chiong!

uncertainty

2009-02-25T16:28:00.004+08:00

不是我们没有感觉和经验，而是你根本就没给过我们学习与进步的机会。机会是自己掌握的，但如果你不给我们机会，我们该如何掌握呢？

so where

2009-02-22T14:56:00.001+08:00

i played the song When the love falls - Yiruma (Rain version). and when the sound of the rain played, it started to rain outside as well. how coincidental. haha

feel

2009-02-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

yup i am over committing, as zhixian repeatedly emphasises. but i cant help it. i like being involved in many things an be busy even though i constantly rant and complain about not getting enough sleep all the time. anyway, i somehow got involved in 15th SLC. which is a good thing cos its a good experience and im lucky to be the first batch of psls to do SLC. bad thing is, im committing to another thing. yay anw im in logs with josephine. haha the people are quite fun and retarded lah. wecLOGtime.comm :D hmm tomorrow have gathering with the SLC OT people.

okay so im trying. emphasise on the trying, to cope and achieve a balance between things. mm lets just say im still working on it. OM is seriously behind time and we're gonna meet tomorrow to do the backdrop. hopefully complete more stuff cos we really have no time. this week was like a zombie week cos i was super tired all along, so yeah. oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANIA :D haha our class had like a cake for her. how sweet (:

so we go back to syf again. no one likes the feeling of being redundant or whatever. you think i feel good standing at a side and just watching the whole syf dance before i go to the ending part and pose? moreover its not because we're not good enough, its because we're not tall enough. wo men mei you tiao jian. you ji qiao you you shen me yong..sigh. yeah im short, thats why im given very limited roles in syf. even if i dont like that idea, i have to accept it. even if the thought of being useless and hating myself for being short keeps replaying in my mind, i HAVE TO accept it. we are not given a choice since we want syf.

after ballet i came back with loads of thoughts. was rather messy today cos i felt really tired and it was right after cca so i was like half chinese dance ba gan, half ballet barre work kinda thing. why should dancing be for the sake of an exam? why should dancing be because of achieving that high distinction result? why should dancing be showing off how good you are? ultimately it is the love for dance isnt it. when i dance i feel happy, it is a fact. i dont dance ballet because my mum forced me to, or because i want to tell the world that im a dancer. ms chew said that you can ask a question, know it but not show it. thats very true. every movement of ballet is sensual, not for the sake of doing the steps correctly, but purely for the sake of dancing and feeling every movement that you dance out.

i cannot describe to any normal person how it is like for me to dance. to a boy, ballet is some stupid thing that girls do that involves spinning around and jumping like an idiot; nothing spectacular. to a boy, chinese dance is cheena and gay. to a normal person who does not dance, ballet is graceful and nice to watch, but it gets boring after a while. to a normal person, chinese dance is a part of chinese culture and somewhat cheena; hard to appreciate. but to someone who truly dances ballet, ballet is indescrible. the flow, the flexibility, the jumps, every step, every breath; i cannot tell you how it feels like. like many of the chinese dancers say, before you come into chinese dance you think its old fashion and cheena, but once you dance it, its like worlds apart. you really feel the beauty of it, and you just want to dance it regardless of what other people think about it.

whether or not you dance well, as long as your heart is within the music and you feel every movement of your body, you are a dancer. it doesnt have to be perfection all the time.

the endless title

2009-02-14T21:27:00.004+08:00

im tired. this time im serious. invest is finally over (: quite fun actually. i ended up appearing in the montage simply because i was the only person in montage comm wearing full uniform on the day we filmed. ah well..this week has been tiring. feel so rushed. cos my recesses and lunches are ALWAYS taken up by meetings or cca practices or stuff like that. dont believe ask hui zhen. everytime recess she will ask me "you have meeting again?" lol.

oh and did i mention that i feel very "detached" from my class? yeah. i think i dont spend enough time with my class. its either im too tired or have no time to go interact with them. which i feel really guilty about. sigh. okay nevermind lets talk about invest first k. not really in the mood..but oh well. invest was fun (:THEapples day. didnt like the part where i had to do ushering duty at the side gate. cos its in the afternoon, and the side gate is like right at the other end of the auditorium. plus you have to be in the super hot blazer and painful court shoes. yay

haha anyway, after invest 2 girls came to evie and i and ask about the preparations of our investiture. so we just answer as per normal lah. they were quite friendly (: haha then after that i asked what school they were from and they said "chestnut drive secondary" and i was like "OH REALLY! haha im your tour leader :D" as in i was assigned to bring them for school tour lah. haha. what a coincidence (: then everyone else was frantically looking for the people that they were supposed to usher while mine apparantly came to me. okay so ms yap was talking to my parents and talking to me..yada yada yada. then josephine found her "pen pal". or rather person she has been talking to on msn but havent seen before. quite cool lah, she's from crescent girls.

so after invest theapples were still in their banana suits cos we wanted to camwhore. haha OR take many many many photos, if you put it in a nicer way. i love theapples lot lot cos they are the greatest people ever. haha so after the whole thing we went to kap for apple dinner/ josephine's surprise belated bday celebration. after most left, peiting, joseph, amanda, evie, yan ni and i played truth or truth. then the first question was "oh oh elena! so..do you have any bf or persuers? hmmmmm?" like SERIOUSLY the so called scandalous stuff was nothing. so stop stop stop stop stop stop can? eeyerr.. oh anw we found out that mac donalds is really very ugly. his eyes are just freaky.

yeah so..yesterday i was really tired cos someone was trying to deprive me of my sleep. then my recess and lunch was again taken away due to cca and om. and cca started immediately after school so i could hardly eat. oh yeah, thank you all and especially si hui for the chocolate and the big fat heart :D aww i wanted to like gve everyone chocolates but i didnt have the time to go and buy them. SIGH. it was audi rehearsal for cca yesterday so we just keep dancing from the top. then only yesterday did we know that we are supposed to have slc meeting in the evening..so i was dead tired. and i dont really know how i got involved in slc. guess it was the "yeah i think i can" i said to en han/ katherine on thurs. hmm so im in logs with joseph. people in logs comm are quite nice lah (:

went to watch break out @ esplanade today. i got the worst seats ever but nevertheless the performance was SUPER nice. its rather comical. and the way they interact with the audience is really amusing. they actually danced to the audience then ran to 1 of the audiences to take a photo with him in the middle of the performance. LOL. okay fine i officially announce that im over committed okay? dont wish to explain that anymore. elena shall learn to adapt to the busy life and quit ranting all the time. jiayou (:

i need sleep

you do realise that i dont actually care right? as i always say, i dont not owe anyone an explanation.

like a butterfly

2009-02-04T22:24:00.003+08:00

feel damn high today because of mass dance and theapples. hehe before that school was just super sian and tiring for me. sad case, today can go home early de, but because of mass dance then have to stay until 5+.. oh well. 2 more days to the week! jiayou elena. im now really tired of going to school..recesses always taken up and i feel so sian during lessons.

oh yah, anw changed seats so now seating with jiahui (: still exclassmate so not much a of a diff. yay student invest jiayou, then theapples will go crazy on that day. oh and i love steph the STAPLE (: thank you for the apple juice orh! zhong hao just showed me the retarded korean singing in english video thing. DAMN RETARDEDLY FUNNY. steph watched it too. go watch it if you are sian. it helps in making you alive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8

10th time i think. something IS wrong with me this year. i want it to end. for some, cos im so tired with it. oh whatever, you were the one who stopped not me. so i am free :D i dont owe you in the first place anyway. ___s stop stepping into my life when i dont want it to! i am a very happy person already :D

i shall be a happy busy person and try not to ever fall sick again.
*cough cough*

wrong way up

2009-01-29T22:49:00.002+08:00

this is the..7th time! gosh something is clearly wrong with me this year. there is a problem with 2009 i tell you. 7 in month?! like how coincidental can it get. something wrong with me lah. im so irritated, leave me ALONE can?

okay anyway, why do the opposite sex like to boast so much. whole day think they damn tough. like what the...okay nevermind apart from that, who on earth spread the whatever scandel thingo? why even wang qing also know! so pissed. okay nevermind, frankenstein is freaky..its disgusting and scary.

oh yes, hello exco'09. we are THEapples'09 :D

i can feel a slight sore throat coming so i shall go and sleep. now, or rather after i find jiayi's beloved newspaper. no homework due tomorrow right? hopefully not...

bye

take flight

2009-01-26T22:42:00.008+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

yay today was alright lah. just like the previous years?

haha but kelly (my niece) was exceptionally cute today okay! her mother said that she is not so friendly even with her kindergarten teachers but she actually became so active with me today. haha i feel so honoured. then she started jumping on my rebounder and singing ke ren lai. she damn cute okay! she is only 3-4 years old.

hehe i think she is little like me, just 100 times cuter. cos she seems to like dancing and loves my camera. she did a split lor. haha!

mabel thinks that kids and pets are a waste of money. aiyo its so typically her lah, she said that dont have children next time cos they will only suffer in the stressful environment -.- lol.

okayy my sms is really super duper baoing because of this random, weird person! seee all your fault..tsk tsk. but nvm lah quite fun. hahahahaha

i should stay up to do homework again, shouldnt i?

//edit

lol random but amusing. jie yang got a stolen shoe on cny.

the funny thing is the first thing he said was:

: J #11 says:
hello person with shoes

HAHA. who would want to steal his converse shoes on cny?!

i am

2009-01-24T17:04:00.003+08:00

i feel retarded now, so i shall reveal part of the retarded convo i had with steph and josephine last night (:
we were capsing almost the whole time. how retarded (: ooh APPLES!

[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
COME LETS DO A RETARDED ACTIVITY. WE START WITH SAYING ONE WORD THEN WE TAKE TURNS TO CONTINUE. SAY A WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE PREVIOUS WORD
let's take one step at a time.
OKAY I START
let's take one step at a time.
MANGA
steph(:
mouse
steph(:
:D
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
HAMSTER
let's take one step at a time.
RABBIT
steph(:
xiaopengyous!
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
MUSIC
let's take one step at a time.
(i wanted to say geewhy but then i realized elena doesn't know who she is)
let's take one step at a time.
PIANOOO
steph(:
painnnnn
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
PLASTER
steph(:
(this is so fun!)
let's take one step at a time.
HOSPITAL
steph(:
mrt (?!)
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
TRAIN
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
(LOL)
let's take one step at a time.
CHOO CHOO
steph(:
ACHOOO!
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
SNEEZE
let's take one step at a time.
(OMG I LOVE THE MANGA CHARACTER)
let's take one step at a time.
TISSUE
let's take one step at a time.
(OMG THE MANGA CHARACTER ROCKS HE'S SO :D:D:D)
steph(:
CELLS!
steph(:
(- -)
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
BRAIN
let's take one step at a time.
BODY
steph(:
SIR STAMFORD RAFFLES
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
(wth)
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
HISTORY
steph(:
(WHAT THING!)
let's take one step at a time.
SINGAPURA
steph(:
SANG NILA UTAMA
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
SAMPAN
let's take one step at a time.
LOL WHAT THE HECK
let's take one step at a time.
UM
let's take one step at a time.
CAPSIZE
steph(:
TITANIC!
[c=#B172DC]anele.[/c]
ROMANCE
let's take one step at a time.
OMG
let's take one step at a time.
LOVE
let's take one step at a time.
LOVE
let's take one step at a time.
LOVE
steph(:
YOU JUMP I JUMP!

gosh its too long to post everything. oh well, we ended up with politics or something. woohoo

upside down

2009-01-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

yay hello. back from nyps p5 camp (: its fun! i hate and love the kids at the same time. yay! cos they like to drive you crazy you see. i'll miss my group the trainer - atika. she's a great friend who apparantly got so pissed with my group that i had to do the shouting for her. oh oh and 5B you guys are seriously damn noisy and 0% teamwork okay..but you guys improved a lot (: broke the record of 1 min 13 seconds for the balancing thingo!

oh and i was surprised that my p1 buddy when i was p5 still remembers me. i feel so guilty for not remembering her lah..i can somehow recognise her face but obviously not her name. sorry laura! thanks for remembering me :D hehe i must have a been a great buddy. okay then the p5 girls were whiney while the boys were as usual? whole day dont listen to you de lah. and its weird how you have to repeat your name for a billion times before they actually remember it. like seriously..they kept asking my name okayy. but still ended up with weirded nicknames for me. oh please dont call me jiejie cos i will feel so old. and its just weird.

its like deja vu going back to serimbun camp. they get to do more things lor..and they have devoted student leaders like me (: last time also had student leaders but they didnt stay over if im not wrong. hmm yeah so rock climbing and the hang out thing i had to frantically help them with their belays and stuff. i think i pro and doing that le. walk like a duck and jump around to kid's waise to see if the thing is tightened well enough. it was rather tiring have a whole class to myself though..had to jump to two sides of the class all the time. but mostly with atika cos she couldnt cope.

hmm then the number 1 number 2 thing was kinda retarded lah. haha and we had to eat with filter paper! hehe brown paper thingo then fold into filter paper. so cute..never really did it before. but yeah its merely 3 days but it was very tiring. but i loved the feeling of getting to lie down and sleep immediately cos i was so knocked out. okay randomly jump to the kicking of sand. so irritating can! kick kick kick the sand while walking then the whole place is filled with floating sand particles. ewwwwww

oh and j-cyn was in my group. still whole day like to stay in her own clique. and beatrice was from another group, she cut her hair short! ooh and there's like 2 beatrices in my group. the boys were amazingly fun to talk to though. they crap A LOT i tell you. p5 boys are just irritatingly good and asking you a billion questions. then they will inevitably ask you crap things like do you have a boyfriend? i know you have a boyfriend! -.- okay but as a whole they improved, so its good.

yay partial exco bonded during the camp. which is good. and we can continue to complain about psl. and do not ask me about whatever stupid rumour gossips that abby anyhow spread. oh and the p5 shirt is really ugly..no offence. i'll miss my trainer & 5B! oh and serimbun. dont think i'll ever be going back.

i hope ZGH doesnt screw tomorrow. and i want to die because of the dunno how many cm of homework. LOL huizhen!

fragile

2009-01-18T11:40:00.005+08:00

hello. school has been rather..not bad actually (: just that i think that at the end of this year i may end up being quite a retarded person due to mr lim's MTT, LDC, ST and mr ng's QUADRATIC TAN. of course, drina's diao eyes and hui zhen's lameness. you know what? i have a strong urge to be completing as many things as possible this year. and weiqing! i really want to go for the hiphop lesson. let's go ask siqi if there's place.if not we could try lyrical/ street jazz. yay

bro came back from ns yesterday cos he had to go for a uni interview - north western university. i think it went well cos he said that the interviewer said he will strongly recommend him. but oh well my bro wants michigan i think. gosh its just different without him cos whenever i go out with my parents its like my parents will most likely me talking about work stuff and i have no brother to be retarded with. so...zgh is like next friday i really hope that it goes well and nothing screws. looking back at dance night, i really should have danced dai dao lah! sigh.

lets's see..elena wants to bombard herself with things. okay but currently im really not that busy yet. i want go do loads and loads of cip besides nyaa! whee~

1. nyps p5 camp help out (tomorrow till wed)

2. nysl student investiture

3. planning of nypsl convention

4. ODYSSEY OF THE MIND (let's aim for world)

5. ballet exam

6. SYF

okay that really isnt much. i shall pack my schedule more k? at the same time to cope with my studies. but somehow i feel that that is secondary. gosh im bad. haha om meeting yesterday was dead yet productive? our storyline with the twisted titanic thingy. still have to look for ms lydia teo for the balsa wood structure. jiayou bah. oh and i really really have to do something about my theory. its like crap. okay im posting photos of dogs cos you all know i love them. a lot a lot and im deprived from them. the west highland terrier is james de, the other is my cousin's dog.

be amazed by the cuteness (;

how long will we last?

beauty of perfection

2009-01-11T18:00:00.004+08:00

Polina Seminova

im not a very big fan of hers but this video is just really beautiful, like her lines and turns are really pretty.

watch it! if you love dance that is.

down up

2009-01-10T23:20:00.003+08:00

didnt see the fever coming. but im getting better. so that's a good thing (:

busy and tiring week..im just SO glad that orientation is finally over AND that amazing race didnt screw up cos i was so afraid that it would.

hmmm pss was super rushed but fun when jan and i just kept rambling on and on...then we'd all have to stop jan from digressing as usual.

rahh lauren how?! our nyaa do when..we cant find a very suitable day. that's actually the least of our problems. i DONT WANT to do zgh for cny! i really dont want! it makes everything worse when you arent in syf and you are a xiao ge. ARGH because then you have EVERY reason to be taking charge of zgh. and i dont want to take charge of zgh because i dont like zgh at all!

and on a sidenote, i cant freaking catch up with chem. add in the fever and it makes things worse again. i better feel perfectly fine to do mugging and whatever homework there's left.

yup i dont ever want to miss lessons again, however i would be because of the nyps camp. 3 days eh..then i would have to bug huizhen and drina again to ask for homework and stuff. you know what? screwed up people like me should stop doing so many things..elena should just not be in psl, dont even say exco, not be involved in nycd at all, be a super average person in ballet and piano. and be a nerd (: okay whatever im just ranting cos my brain got burnt by the fever.

oh and i hate getting misunderstood okay. im not dao or an ignorant brat, im just so tired and busy! its not that i dont care, i just dont see the point of explaining every single thing okay! and yes my brother has gone for ns and i think i miss him already. its hard to get someone you can just rant and talk rubbish to when you come back from school..

i do not dislike or hate my life. im completely satisfied with it other than the height thing. this post is purely for me to rant. yay

happened to chance upon the 90th anniversary photo. fun memories (:

speak up

2009-01-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

today was quite well (: pss was too short for sec ones though.
haha 310 is actually quite a pleasant class, no scholars apparently & only 28 people
li xiao hui laoshi and mr lim chow hoon for form teachers (:
lets hope that the sec ones talk more next week? haha

here its ALL about height...

new year

2009-01-01T21:47:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
thank you the small group of 6I'ers for spending new year's eve with me
haha vivo was ... a place for you to walk out every now and then to send smses. LOL
and on a sidenote i feel like kidnapping the dogs of james. (:
back to school tomorrow. jiayou.

//edit

the dog is one of them = ELMO!

haha pretty xmas tree in vivo then me and wang ying (:

didnt think james wanted to take a photo with us anw

South Africa

2008-12-26T23:40:00.004+08:00

YAY merry christmas! and gues what? i will blog about SOUTH AFRICA TRIP. gonna be a long post though. haha (: i just go through briefly okay?

First day in SA (cape town):

It was basically super tiring cos jet lag and all. so you really really want to sleep. okay let me recall. okay we went to table mountain first. then sat this visa cable car thing to go up. the mountain is called table mountain because it is flat on the top. haha i kinda like that mountain cos it has a very nice sedimentary rock formation.

okay thennn we went to the ostrich farm! kinda stupid cos we ATE ostrich meat before we went to see them and sit on them. haha taste like beef though fyi. then you would realise that ostriches are very stupid (: their brain is the smallest organ of their body. hmm and when they attack, they use their legs to kick upwards. they can kill you with 1 kick, therefore if you want to be safe, you lie down flat so that they cant kick you. HOWEVER, as the person told us, ostriches are so stupid that if they see your face on the ground, they will think that its their egg since its all white and round. Then, they would sit on your face and sit for 42 DAYS. im serious, not kidding. HAHA you can go try and see what happens. :D

* During the tour around cape town, we realised that south africans call traffic lights ROBOTS and they do street sales very often. As in walk ONTO the road and next to the cars to sell stuff. haha damn cute lah (:

Second day in cape town:

We went to uhhhh see the seals! yay boat ride all the way to this place with seals on a platform. quite disgusting cos they literally PILE on top of each other, but the bumpy boat ride was fun. haha Then we went to see penguins! south african penguins are a little diff from the normal ones we visualise though..uh they just look different lah. hehe but dunno why they can withstand the strong wind and super dry + hot weather of south africa. mm but overall they were rather adorable (:

Next we went to see the light house but actually nothing much also..walk walk walk all the way up then see pretty pretty view. haha yup cape town's view is very nice!

Third day in cape town:

it was a short day cos we were to leave for johannesberg in the afternoon. Went to the vineyard and had wine tasting. tasted the wine even though i wasnt supposed to, haha. no wine tasting for below 18, but my bro and parents offered me nonetheless. you can tell the sweetness of the wine by the yellowness of the wine colour and when you swirl the glass, the slower it takes for the wine to flow down the sides, the sweeter it is (:

Hmm then went to the cheetah reserve, nothing much actually. They were all quite lazy anyway so very boring.hehe left for johannesberg so went to the airport for a 1+h flight. The plane was super puny with NO NAME. not kidding..and the ppl in the plane are funny.

air stewardess gave an intro: "cameras are installed in the toilets of the plane for the captain's own entertainment, therefore for your own safety do not visit the toilet."

im serious that she said that!

Sun City Resort:

This place was the place that got me terribly sun burnt. not because i didnt put sun tan lotion, but because the sun was SERIOUSLY killing. furthermore i went to play water games and waveworld. the sand was burnin hot okayy..haha tried all 5 slides there. SUPER fun...especially the courage slide that was around 75 degrees vertically downwards..quite scary as you slide down, but it was over after a while. haha! oh oh then they had this artificial wave pool/ sea thing. then they had waves coming out. BIG ONES. damn fun lah! everyone got lifted up when the waves came, very cute also.

Then that night my family went to watch the musical in the resort itself, its really very good. about rock music, from the past till the present. the songs they sand were really nice and they had very good voices too! (:

Safari/Game Reserve in Johannesberg:

This was another super fun one. we went for two game drives. one in late afternoon. Sat in a jeep in a group of 10 people. So i sat at the back and the ride was suuupperrrr bumpy i tell you.. was literally bouncing on the seat. hmm the first drive we saw many wilderbees, deers, then LIONS! we were super fortunate cos lions arent easy to spot. Also, we saw 5 at the same time. 1 male, 4 females. And we were super close to them. reason being, one jeep got stuck on the road with its wheels stuck on mud or something then they were near lions..so we had to go there to lure the lions away in case of any danger. Got many pretty photos of the lions while stopping there to 'protect' the other group of ppl in the stuck jeep.

The next morning like 6am we apparantly had affinity with the zebras..KEPT seeing them and then suddenly one ostrich popped out of the blue and came really close to us, haha damn random. then after driving for a while we found an ostrich egg! HAHA the ostrich lay the egg then never take care of it. tsk tsk. a rare scene though, btw ostrich eggs can withstand a weight of around 110kg (: then we saw rhinos! hehe reminds me of rhino the hamster in bolt ((: in any case, I LOVED THE BUMPY RIDES AND STRONG WINDS

Soweto & Johannesberg:

The next day we went to visit this small city called soweto in south africa. i fell in love with the town even though that place was like dirty and full of shacks. the city is as big as singapore! the place is dirty cos people there believe that throwing litter on the ground is giving people more jobs to do, cos they can clean it up. LOL bad mentality!

So then we visited a memorial there, it was how soweto gained its dignity. Long time ago the children of soweto were forced by the education system to study in africaan. africaan was a very weird language that exclude english in the syllabus, thus all the students were against it. They went on a riot and in the rio, many children were killed due to their rebelliousness that the police could not handle. rather disheartening.

Towards the End:

Gosh this post is looong. haha i got to sit 2 rollercoaster rides okay! so happy cos havnt sat it in a long long time. so shuang ((: and finally got to play arcade. haha something that you wont really go and do in singapore. I dont regret going to South Africa okay, a very beautiful place and a great experience! i love south africa :D

im done with posting. YAY ME
will link the photos later k

these words

2008-12-20T01:05:00.003+08:00

okay SOUTH AFRICA UPDATE WILL COME LATER. i will use a random thing to liven up my blog first can? got tagged by christine

Instructions:
1. Do the "Letter Meme".
2. Tag no less than 5 other people.
3. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

Template:
Dear (the last person who text messaged you). I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).(12),Your name

Your letter:

Dear zhixian,I don't really know how to tell you this, our horoscope doesn't match[1] .I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me[2] under a state of trance[3] and I saw you pull the clothes off [4] my Kid Rock-collection[5]. I'm sure you're middle-class [6] enough to understand how aweful i've felt[7]. I'm returning the contact book[8] to you, but I'll keep your neighbour Martin[9] as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked[10] our friendship[11].Go and drown yourself [12],elena

1.What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchiladas
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris HiltonFish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Sit on
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Pull the clothes off
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
Pink - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald DuckBlue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
White - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful i've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - Your mom
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - The results of your blood sample
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Best regards
Egypt - Fk off now
France - In pain

Gosh i should never have done this. IT CLEARLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE. lol
i hope no one really reads it -.-

btw, i dont tag people for these things. so byee

next plane home

2008-12-06T19:29:00.005+08:00

you know what? elena ho the retard seriously JUST realized that she is leaving for south africa tomorrow at midnight. i always thought was monday midnight! and guess what? yeah, i havent packed. the luggage is empty and i have not prepared for the trip. i AM NOT prepared to go overseas lah. yeah, zhixian is right..i am damn sad case.

yay i will get souvenirs for ALL 16 of my batchmates i promise! and of course, for my da jie. yay love you da jie, you piggy rock lah! gosh like since when did you love to gossip so much you aileen toh. now my cheeks are hot because i drank vodka + beer. i dont exactly feel tipsy, and in case you think i drank a sip, i drank one whole cup of it, or more i think. hehe im such a bad girl.

okay erm so in case anyone is unaware, ELENA WILL BE AWAY FROM TOMORROW MIDNIGHT UNTIL 16th DEC. so until then, bye bye

gosh still find the bus incident yesterday with the auntie so cute.

indescribable

2008-12-01T17:24:00.005+08:00

bello (: yup here you go thanks to jiaxuan the mr sadist who called beatrice black hearted! anyway, on your left is j-cyn and on your right will be beatrice. they're cute right? haha yay.

and yes, right here i would like to express my hatred to amanda koh for leaving me with 104 proposals to collate and 4 other proposals to complete. you are DEAD when you come back! oh and i just thought that it would be fun to also upload the photo of sheng siong the tree-hugger. i think other co ppl also happy uploading it. so there you have it (:

some people on earth are just so so weird dont you agree with me? even i am weird
back to the korean film craze and happy busy piggy me. BYEE

nypsco camp '08

2008-11-25T11:58:00.003+08:00

heyy just had nypsco camp from 19th to 22th nov. haha it was really fun, facilitated group 1 with aspen. really want to upload the photos of some of them but my phone just wont cooperate so too bad. anyway, my guai hai zi men = j-cyn & beatrice haha! beatrice is known for her screaming, kicking, beating, poking and so on. yay (: she kept disturbing theodore and jia xuan though. oh and she has this soft toy bear called pooky. hmm ice breakers was sort of interesting, cos my group and andika's group combined so there were more people playing. andrea was at first unwilling to talk and stuff but initially, she was veryyy the noisy + naughty. NEVER judge a book by its cover okay.

standard procedure for forfeit: THE PROPOSAL
marcus was soo willing to marry a guy i tell you, he went on flaunting about his proposal after he did it, like "aiya i not scared le lah, i proposed to a guy le!"

subsequently some games like the night games and war games was also combined with group 2 = andika & woon yee's group so also got to know most of them. night games was fun, although we didnt manage to find 1 of the light sticks i think we did quite well bah, given the clues and hints that andika gave. LOL i think he hinted us quite a lot though, like "wahh very close, very close" that sort of thing. hmm and war games was rather chaotic due to the green group turning around to conquer the blue group when they were already under the the blue group. lol and my group was a little bit the pathetic cos our flag got stolen by 1 boy, over 7 people protecting the flag. gosh..

eee then for the potluck, i finally touched the guzheng after so so long. ban-ing the guzheng was actually a joy (: then si tong cried on stage during performance, poor girl was put on stage when she wasnt ready for it and it made her so scared lah! talking about si tong, it reminded me of ice breakers, where i had to hold her hand to play 10 ten cent coin and push her chair in for her when it came to murderer. then aspen & andika down there laughing -.- wheeee i really miss CO though, playig as an orchestra is actually something very enjoyable. i love CO! and nypsco rocks too ((:

haha so that's about it, didnt really write much but in any case, let's make next year's camp a better one xin yuan & sheng siong! jiayou other facils toooo

p.s suddenly i think of beatrice's big puppy-dog eyes and some of her evil actions, she IS very the scheming. pull my hair somemore

and yes i dooo realllyyyyy want to dance hong shan very very much, but too bad its at night and i cant make it cos of something :( rahhhhh want to dance!!! let's just hope for a good replacement bah

insanity

2008-11-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

you know what?
elena wants to do nothing
elena wants to stone
elena wants to be a useless thing
elena wants to give up
elena wants to run away
elena wants to stop trying
elena wants to surrender to whoever up there
elena wants to disappear
elena wants to go into a coma
elena wants to be ignorant
elena wants to not care anymore
elena wants to get a life
elena wants to hate what she hates
elena wants to like what she likes
elena wants to sleep forever
elena wants to be invisible

nothing i do seems good enough, nothing i do seems meaningful
yah yah im not myself now. im mad, crazy, stupid, siao
AND I DONT CARE

207 love

2008-11-01T16:41:00.006+08:00

friday was last day of school! bye bye 207, you guys have been really great these 2 years spent together and rahh i cant believe that we won't all be in the same class again. imagine us as sec threes and going to different classes :( but anyways, i shall thank every single one of you here by writing a short testimonial.

Alicia: hehe the kiss kiss girl! haha you retarded and fun person and my nu er too! love you crazy person!(:

Alyssa: remember i attended the math sabbatical with you. you really love drawing and reading manga and anime stuff!

Delena: you are rememberd by your fringe -.- but anyway, you have a good voice for theatre and presentations (:

Abigail: haha abby! thanks so much for everything you've done for the class. you ARE retarded lor, and a really great friend who lends support whenever needed. will miss you

Hui Yun: Our wonderful monitress. you've really improved your public speaking through being a monitress and jiayou okay!

Zhen May: nice person to be with and friendly too! pro pro chinese person

Hannah: hiannah!!! hehe you love to poke me right..hmph you won't get to anymore! atleast not as often. thank for being a great lab partner and etc thingos as my neighbouring index no.

Yi Ting: remembered that i loved calling you ting ting last time and poke your back thing! haha you laughter is so cute lah

Annabelle: a very gentle person and fellow OM group mate. thanks for being the kind natured friend!

Amanda: yes yes our typical bimbo and psl exco partner. jiayou bah, we'll be busy busy busy! you and ashley together are just a headache. oh oh and you were the first new friend i met in nygh!

Hui Lin: my table mate and assistant monitress! yah okay will remember that you love pink okay. and talk super fast. hehe (:

Jan: our class shortest yet oldest person. how contradicting, jan is the politically correct person but yet oh so act cute. yay my ah ma!

Xin Yung: haha rather quiet and you were in the kabuki drama group! kind hearted person (:

Wei Qi: Our history rep who actually has this eccentric voice when she acts during drama. haha!

Wan Ting: OMG i love that funny face that you make with the mouth and cross eye thing. haha you and your funny-ness when speaking chinese

Wei Min: well we all know that you are...dreamy, love to copy actions, retarded and will look much nicer if you did something to your hair! haha

Mun Ning: remember i loved to scratch you in p6 but anyway, dont emo too much okay? hehe you are so cute and hyper at times! (:

Ashley: yay you uber smart person! retarded and childish with amanda too. let's happy emcee together!

Mabel: FATS TWIT and WORHSXSX however you do that weird thing. marbled beef thanks for being a fat and RICH friend! haha and you love hong kong..

Natalie: you've been a great friend okay! thank you so much for everything (: you very smart person too! will miss you (:

Grace: you will be known for your love for many movies and a great great pianist. haha still remember that you kept asking me for chinese words and stuff on msn. (:

Pei An: although i wasn't very close to you, i think you're a nice person!

Pei Ning: I just know that you really love to smile. haha. good maths rep and another smarty skirt again!

Jing Wen: so sorry you got like blisters after ice skating! :( but you a nicee nicee girl that sings well (:

Sheryl: HAHA our very environmentally friendly CLEANINESS COORDINATOR! yah that's basically what i can say to you, jk jk hehe nice person who can be retarded at times too. (:

Shermaine: little miss pretty pretty who plays volleyball very well. will be working together for OM next year so we'll strive for OM WORLD okay? (:

Sing Qing: why you always so tired? haha always see you answering questions in class and a very sensible student in class! sleep more lah (:

Hui Zhen: ROCK! let's hope we enter the same class next year which is most likely. LOL the qian jin men -.- happy OMing

Jia Yi: oh well, nothing much to say to you cos we will be seeing each other in cca anyway. haha but you've been a great friend (:

Kymberly: always ego ego then show off that you very tall right? hmph. you smarty skirt lah!

Jin Hui: yay thank you so so much for being that great friend, won't forget being your tablemate in sec one. xie xie jin hui, ni bu hao ma? hehe (:

Mary: my tablemate too! its fun to sit with you guys. malibaba is a very nice person who has a sister who smses me. haha (:

Jia Hui: lastly, jia hui who sings beautifully, thanks for being our monitress for a while and being so contributive to the class! you're so hyper at times like mun.

Alright, there you go. love you 207! hope we can last the friendship of atleast smiling/waving/saying hello to each other when we walk past each other.

ignite the passion

2008-10-26T12:58:00.008+08:00

Hey there(: yup im posting again. well, shall not say about other stuff, and zoom into the rgs peer support sharing '08 yesterday. Went with enhan, katherine, peiting and josephine. haha yup so we were divided into groups. and i belonged to SYDNEY!

had 2 external speakers who came to tell us about peer mentoring and also sharing sessions from rgs, cedar ,as well as victoria. learnt quite a lot, and here we realise how lousy nanyang's psl is. its just not organised or focused enough i guess? so lots of things to improve on. yup interacted well with sidney group members within a day (: and the olympic picture thing was seriously retarded.

one fine day, it was the olympic in soul 1988. Derek went to run for olympics and got first. then later his prize was a five-time leg hair removal cos they thought that giving a medal was far too boring. so then coincidentally, on the next olympics 1992, all the runners tore their hemstring thus unable to participate -.- then it was only Derek, but unfortuantely, the five-time leg hair removal made his heel and ankle very painful, so he could not run properly. So Jim - his father, came to support him and run with him till the end of the race and he got FIRST. = peer mentoring -.- okay i know its super lame. the pictures areon the photo the poster thingo.

yup so, ending with the sydney quote:
"To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence" - Sydney Smith

waiting on the world to change

2008-10-18T23:14:00.003+08:00

HELLO. long time since i've posted, thing is i really dont feel like typing a lot. rah
so the thing is:

1) exams are over (very anti-climax)
2) psl camp was 16&17 (fun! you can read abby's blog for details i think)
3) finally finally went out to shop today
4) im bored now
5) dont want to get back my results

okay that's basically it. i dont know what more to say cos i dont want to type a lot. haha(: sorry, but anyway who reads a loooong essay anyway.

BYEE

hundred years

2008-09-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

hmm thinking about what mr chia said earlier today, it makes sense. time does pass by quickly, if not a *blink of an eye* and really shocked to see how much blood there was from his grandmother's head...well, hope she stays fine. haha mr chia is a good teacher, will remember what you have told us. yup so i guess at the end of the day, lesson learnt would be for us to treasure the time we have while we are young. (:

speaking of time, its mugging time.

suddenly i see

2008-09-27T19:45:00.003+08:00

studying has been productive i guess. just hope the hard work does pay off, eventually. it's true that it doesnt really matter that much at this stage since im taking humanities anyway, but i do want to do well. so yeah..

hmmm yes i have been very happy till the day before yesterday. something happen, yes. something that i wouldn't tell anyone but myself. its horrible cos its a thing that you suddenly realise and you know at that point that something is wrong. its something that i cant take control of that's why i feel very guilty. and like i said in trippie blog, i WOULD actually be crying 3 nights, cos i cant cry during the day.

just one more night to cry and try to put it all behind, to be a happier person. in long term, i would regret it though.

yup so anyway, happy mugging people. just around 2-3 weeks and it'll be over (:

the man who can't be moved

2008-09-24T22:09:00.009+08:00

THE MAN WHO CANT BE MOVED - THE SCRIPT
haha seriously, im in love with this song. its rather cute yet touching, the lyrics is very catchy too.

so did tell you that i love my brothers? no?
okay. I LOVE MY BROTHERS
p.s im serious, they rock!

fuchsia's lane

2008-09-21T12:57:00.002+08:00

bello mellow (:

the week has been rather interesting? haha started my study schedule le. still got loads to work on though. ooh and did flag raising for the first time this week together with lauren, quite fun bah (: hmm then drama assesment is finally over, we should have done quite alright i guess. okay then i got my piano results on wednesday..it was expected bah. hehe then finally on friday was psl exco interview. that should be the shortest and fastest interview i have ever had i guess? it was like less than 5 mins! hmm i wanted human resource or special events committee. fingers crossed to get in.

oh yes, remember like a few months ago the person in my tuition staring at me? yah..he came to my class for make up again yesterday. this must be like the 4th time that he is freaking staring at me. FREAKY i tell you..its annoying cos when im doing my work, i can feel a pair of eyes staring at me. then when i look towards his direction, there he is looking into my eyes..so hard to avoid! RAH. so glad that its over can.

yup so, i know im not smart and need 10 times the hardwork to achieve the same result of any other person, thus i need to start studying history already. then i will bathe cookie later. shall take a photo of her being drenched in water and shampoo. HEHE

bye

dancing in the moonlight

2008-09-15T22:24:00.001+08:00

look up to the sky tonight
you'll find the moon shining oh-so-bright
take a walk out tonight
you're dancing in the moonlight

wild horses

2008-09-06T15:15:00.007+08:00

yay hello (: lets just say that holidays has been muggyish?

not much of a holiday that is. anyway, went to bukit timah nature reserve yesterday after dance. kymberly was so damn funny cos she was complaining the whole time, and the hill is quite scarily steep. haha! then kymberly was bragging about the wheelchair thing again -.- hmm i as always used as the constant object to stand next to the tree cos i was the shortest..okay whatever. rather tiring but really fun and good exercise! haha oh i almost forgot! THE MONKEYS! a whole bunch of them SUUUUPERRRR CUTE CAN!!! hehe

then we went to KAP to eat. sigh my third time this week eating fast food :S so we were eating eating then i suddenly talked about how much oil there was in fries. so i decided to demonstrate :D ohgay so i placed the 'potential' fries on the tissue paper and used my puny finger to press on it. and tada! there we have the fries oil silhouette on the paper! okay then they were saying that it was sick, but they did it too in the end mah..especially hui zhen's squishing skills..scary. i so wanted to throw those fries at the other table with the boys lor. it would be so fun. but anyway, the table behind us were like blablabla then mabel and i heard one of them say: 我每天都做. HAHA then we were laughing away. dont you think it sounds so wrong?

oh yah to end it off, huizhen and weimin made a concoction of: oil-extracted fries, curry sauce, diluted coke, chilli sauce and last but not least, ice. seriously that was sick. cos SOMEONE decided to shake it up -.- ewww and seriously that was a super good bomb to throw at that table of 'wo mei tian dou zuo' lor! woohoo but obviously we wouldnt dare to.

so today or rather last night in the middle of the night i woke up with a sowllen eye. dunno how, but its getting better bah. shall study, do homework, write weiqing's letter or whatever.

tata

oh oh and my bro rocks! YAY

embrace them

2008-08-31T22:03:00.003+08:00

A small ripple can gain momentum,
and build a current that is insurmountable

one world, one dream

2008-08-24T22:26:00.007+08:00

eek beijing olympics 2008 has come to an end :( it was so fun watching it, and im so proud of singapore! singapore you rock, and jiayou feng tian wei. get us a medal in london olmpics 2012! haha. Evgeniya Kanaeva ruled the whole rhythmic gymnastics, she scored 18 point something for every rotation lah. and i LOVED her ribbon routine, its so elegant! plus she is really pretty (: rhythmic gymnasts just have this special elegance and flexibility unlike anyone else. hmm but it was a pity for anna bessonova cos she got a bronze once again like in the athens olympics. she did really well! but a little mistakes in her clubs routine costed her bah. love her so much though!

beijing olympics was honestly great, china was a great host, especially for opening and closing ceremony (: hope the london olympics keeps up to the standard. rahh im just so sad that i missed the whole artistic gymnastics. whole thing eh! rahh :( oh wells, back to school again tomorrow..atleast its the last week. really tired today from the jewellery fest, my legs can break now. shall post photos of it tomorrow.

toodles

breaking apart

2008-08-15T20:31:00.004+08:00

this is the point in time where elena wonders if it even pays off being nice or friendly or calm or responsible or thoughtful or whatever not that i've done this far. i dont want to take credit off anything but somehow being the nice person in the dark doesnt seem to pay off. taking other people's feelings in consideration, staying up late to sew 24 nycd words on senior's gift, helping anyone whom i'd be able to. nothing seems to get better no matter how much effort put in. i dont need anyone to thank me nor do i want anyone to judge me without even coming to understand or know me. i seriously need to reflect on myself, this cant go on. im breaking apart..

or maybe its just a bad day.

hp: its personal again

2008-08-10T23:06:00.002+08:00

YAY im back. and with a new computer. and a 22 inch screen -.- so not used to the largeness man..anyway, im finally posting. hmm what shall i start with.

Friday!
okay i think most of us agree that connect singapore was retarded. as in i love singapore lah..but we didnt even get to say the pledge then go back le! aiyo then make us sit under the tent for so so long. after connect singapore me, jiayi and abby went to amk hub to watch movie. wanted to watch dark night at first but since the timing wasnt right and abby watched before, we watched 'journey to the centre of the earth' instead. its super nice okay! abby and i was like screaming and laughing at the same time throughout it, and jiayi was like 'áiyo you all ar'. its really nice okay! humorous yet scary + exciting.

oh gay! then at night was the opening of beijing olympics '08. haha its very nice lah! the performances were all so synchronised and just very special lah! fireworks were great and also they played the chun jiang music! hehe (: oh oh and the lighting of the torch was WAYYY cool and WAYYY funny too. haha. those who didnt see it, too bad.but the countries part was really sian lah. pig and i was like 'you still watching?' and anw thanks pig for the company! gosh try comparing that to singapore's NDP..hmm. no comment.

Sat & Sun
happy belated bday to s'pore. loved the fireworks and black knights! other than that...sian. haha then i watched another movie 'money no enough', damn retarded lah! funny and touching, but too much of hokkien lor. and after much of the grumpyness of my family, i FINALLY got my computer today. oh gay.

i guess i better post at the trippies. will post nycd photos asap.
toodles (:

NYCD dance night '08

2008-08-03T18:12:00.004+08:00

DANCE NIGHT @ esplanade
OMG i tell you that was a blasting experience! I LOVE NYCD! we did a great job everyone! the show was really a success, and i will so so miss it very much.
from the retardedness to the moodyness to the sianess to the funess to the tears of some to the ending of the performance, it all was a pleasure!

thank you so much laoshi for her hardwork to prepare such a wonderful dance night and all dancers for doing such a great job + everyone who supported us dancers by watching us, or even morally supporting us!

gosh, putting the wowness of esplanade aside, i truly loved the spirit nydancers had before the performance, i felt really touched seeing the whole dance society being so serious and concentrating on doing sheng yun as a group. i really miss the dance night spirit!!!

and and i want the dance night video to come out like NOW.

绽放的花季
(will post photos later as im using my bro's com now)

little wonders

2008-07-27T20:56:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAYI (:
today had to wake up early and miss tuition again because of chinese dance. went to school on a sunday for zao gong and all the training stuff lah. jumps, ba gan, ya tui, ti tui, sheng yun and stuff. haha (: after it ended at 8 then yiming, drina, weiqing, jiayi, steffi and i went to far east to eat first before we started our CIP at 12.

hmm anyway, CIP was rather fun lah. it was the 'youth for causes - prism of colours' thing. we did street sales. more like donation to the tin can, except you get things if you donate more than $2. i did together with jiayi and finally decided to start work after pondering and wondering around, deciding on who to ask to donate. LOL so we like stood at the overhead bridge down there. business quite good lah, but seriously, caucasians dont really donate. :( then suddenly the weiqing and drina come and steal our di pan! grrrr.. oh wells, then eh? we saw hern hern and yi yi coming down the escalator, so we faster block the entrance and get them to donate. haha (: rahhh did until 4pm. 4 hours of talking and walking around isnt really relaxing. my feet are kind of dead now.

tomorrow is gonna be dance the whole day again. but since its xi pai, then i can bring homework to do. sheesh laoshi has the strong power to leave chinese dancers in the school while the whole cohort goes to mcritchie reservoir for cross country. LOL

2 down 2 to go. count down 5 days (:

nothing to lose, nothing to prove

2008-07-24T21:40:00.007+08:00

so you think you can dance? danny& anya - viennese waltz

this is the love (:

dance

every pattern of movement

2008-07-20T10:07:00.002+08:00

oops sorry! left my blog a little dead.

okay well, all i want to say is that i really hope that i do well for block tests from mon - wed? and im currently annotating poems? LOL erm yah. i shant give any negetive comments about my block tests le, it'll only make me more demoralised right.

therefore, jiayou all those who are mugging for blocks!

no air

2008-07-12T19:48:00.002+08:00

right this moment i feel pressured, supressed, breathless, fearful, uneasy, or whatever word you can find from the thesaurus. i can't stop feeling this way once i think of it. i need to change myself and be more open minded about things.
why does it always have to be this way?

RAHHHH

season of blooms

2008-07-10T18:16:00.002+08:00

NYCD DANCE NIGHT

1st AUGUST 08

8pm to 10pm

ESPLANADE THEATRE

$60 (the rest sold out)

once in a while: jerks

2008-07-06T22:13:00.002+08:00

hello. that irritating person who pestered me last year started to pester me a few days ago since he got a new hp no. -.- this is how it went:

jerk: Elo wad you doing?
me: who are you..
jerk: Guo hao if i not wrong i know you in audition
me: i dont play audition
jerk: Maple or viwawa -[LIKE WTH IS VIWAWA?]
me: whatever
jerk: Oo i know you in friendster
me: is that a question or a statement?
jerk: Oo just tell i know you at where...

-DIDNT REPLY. AND THE NEXT MORNING-

jerk: Good morning
me: you sms me one more time i call police.

-AND NO REPLY!- YAY

DANCE (:

2008-07-05T20:46:00.002+08:00

hello (:
today is a good day. anyway, yesterday had funfair in school. hmmm tried the haunted houses and i thought that the toilet one was super cute. the people would keep trying to keep you inside the toilet and not let you go out. hehe. didnt scream due to sore throat, mabel and i were trying to disturb the ghosts anyway -.- i bought a red heart balloon but it already died due to loss of helium. baahhh

yesterday had cca from 3 to 8. or rather 8.30 bah. wasnt really in the mood to dance cos i wasnt feeling well because of flu and sore throat. just really tired lah. hmm we lian pai-ed in the hall and laoshi said that it was a little rough and messy. oh and the weirdest thing was that after lian pai, when our family went out to have dinner, at the restaurant i suddenly cried. and i couldnt stop, just kept crying. i couldnt think of a reason why i cried so much! but i just did you know. :( dont know what's gotten into me. haha

hmm this morning i didnt fully recover so mum told me not to go for ballet and rest at home. then she brought my ballet results home. i was so freaking scared okay. then when i saw my results i was like ooooooooh..... haha! shant boast my results here. well it is a distinction but i shant say how high it is. you can ask me if you are so eager to know. lalala watched camp rock on the net just now. really nice show (:

DANCE

better in time

2008-06-27T20:53:00.002+08:00

rahh i dont know what's wrong with me okay.
elena is screwed and she is getting her major mood swings again.

maybe i should just think of studying right now so that things will be better. i have to ace bio, or i might as well die.

dont feel well now. not physically though. shall mug bio.

bye